"Loving Lies" are responses we use to
Situation: Your care partner may suddenly decide that she “must go home immediately, because her mother is waiting for her.”
Solution: (First you validate:) "Your mom is not at home right now - while we wait, would you help me with something please?" Then use a Fiddle Box or another diversion.
Situation: She insists that she has to “go to the bank right now” –
Solution: First you validate:) "It's a bit early to go to the bank, so we have time to do this first: diversion.
Both these Solutions are Loving Lies
or she’s suddenly agitated for no reason that’s apparent to you.
You need a diversion quickly, because none of these situations is likely to be resolved with reasoning.
Ideas for diversions:
Ask for her help (folding clothes, sorting mail, holding something)
Grab a Fiddle Box and ask her to help you with it.
Acknowledge and delay: “I’d be glad to help you find your mom right after we’ve had lunch (or made the bed, finished the dishes, taken the trash out)”
Start singing one of her favorite songs
Simple remarks work well with a finicky person: “Oops, your hair is messy” “Oops, you dropped something”
“Oops, we forgot the top button”
These fake situations will probably stop her for a moment.
And then you'll want to IMMEDIATELY use a diversion.